Post-SEJ Emotions

Jurisdictional Conference is over and I am so excited to welcome Bishop Jonathan Holston to South Carolina. As a part of the SEJ Committee on Episcopacy that made the assignment I can share with you that he possesses EVERY characteristic that we need in SC: He is a leader that I have personally seen at work; has a proven track record of results with a grace that bridges every constituency; and is so well organized that he will aid us in these transitional times as we have changed our AC structure and much of our AC staff and bid farewell to Bishop Taylor and Rusty. Hear this: South Carolina hit a homerun in his assignment to us! It is his coming here that gives me hope in the midst of my personal pain.

Yes, I will personally replay all of the details of the episcopal election process and ask all the “what-if” questions. I feel gut-punched, but I know that I am blessed to come back to South Carolina. I love Christ and the United Methodist Church. Am I disappointed? Of course. Am I thankful? Oh, yes. I am so grateful for the South Carolina delegation and annual conference. You worked tirelessly. You gave of yourselves in so many ways. Please hear your name said in a prayer of thanks from me! Your names are so many! My family and I are so thankful for your love, prayers, and support. I hope I didn’t let you down – my biggest “what-if.”

There are machinations and maneuvers in any election, even in the church, but this delegation held together and exhibited both the grace and strength of the South Carolina Annual Conference. I know that I shocked you and many others with my concession speech yesterday. I felt that the Holy Spirit clearly wanted me to respond to the growing crescendo of a desire that we have a more diverse College of Bishops. Well, you and I know that I fit this bill, but a lot of others see me and think “white guy.” Some have said “he’s just an ‘Indian wannabe'” or that mixed blood doesn’t count.  Well, S.E.R.N.A.C. (South Eastern Regional Native American Caucus) endorsed me. So those that question are calling both my and their integrity into question.

But, the pain of racism runs rampant among us all, doesn’t it? Church and society. Will the malaise or the revival of the United Methodist Church be hastened by a desire for leaders who fill a certain racial, gender, or theological quota? I don’t think so, and I’m NOT disparaging anyone who was elected. I’m grateful for each person’s gifts to the church. I must, however, speak up for the SC Committee on Native American Ministries. Our slogan and misson is “Making the Invisible, Visible!” Bishop Cho fits this description. He is the first Asian person elected a bishop in the SEJ and is a person of great character and spiritual leadership.  We did not, however, elect our first African-American female bishop. Sharma Lewis, an effective leader, was the target of rumors. We didn’t elect Ivelisse Quinones, a gifted Hispanic person either.

This is the reason I rose to tell everyone to vote for Bishop Cho. He and I could have gotten stalemated for a number of ballots and, who knows, somebody may have been hoping for such a thing. Of course, momentum was his and it may not have even mattered. Nevertheless, I felt the need for a good servant of the Lord like Bishop Cho to be elected.

I still feel called of God, wherever that takes me. That supercedes whatever anyone else thinks. I’m going to head to Mt. Mitchell and be alone with God for a few days. I love what I’m doing as a DS and I want to serve Bishop Holston in every way possible. I love South Carolina United Methodism!

You want to know what this feels like the day after? How would you feel if right after hundreds of people consoled you, a bishop of the church, probably well meaning, said to you something like, “You would have been elected if you had been quiet about the Council of Bishops and the Call to Action.” More was said but you get the drift. Well, my Mama and Daddy raised me to have integrity. Yes, I spoke out against what I thought was a violation of our history, theology, and polity. I knew it would cost me votes, but it was the right thing to do.

Everybody says bishops have a lot of pull in who gets elected, but I’ve taught UM history, polity, and theology. We have never had a consolidated power group or person running the whole church. Even Francis Asbury excused himself and allowed the conference to vote in the James O’Kelly matter of 1792. O’Kelly supported a clergyperson’s right to appeal their proposed appointment. The conference wanted a balance of powers with both a strong episcopacy and a strong conference. Whenever we have erred either way and granted more power to the General Conference over the Council of Bishops or vice versa, we have had a church split.

That’s a fact and I pointed it out pre-General Conference in a number of settings and publications none of which were personally solicited, and I’m ecstatic that the Judicial Council ruled the way they did. I had hoped that Plan UMC was a way to balance things out, but was rightfully worried about its constitutionality. I’m about ready to say that the UMC needs to hold a month-long constitutional convention and redo a lot of things.

But I’ll say two things for sure: You cannot solve a spiritual problem with a structural solution, and the Church is of God and will endure until the end of the age.  In spite of all of my emotions today, from tears and utter sadness to overwhelming peace – the same peace I felt as I spoke to the SEJ yesterday, and as I sat down then, I have hope today. Yes, I know this hope is a bit tenuous right now. I trust the Lord, but am a little gunshy about trusting people at the moment. I am sorry if this seems more like a rant than an observation. I know that I am too close to this and I have very little objectivity right now. Grief is talking. The 12th anniversary of my Daddy’s funeral was Tuesday, and today would have been my Mamma’s 95th birthday. But if I’m anything, I’m real. What you see is what you get. I want to be a faithful servant of the Lord in our beloved church and I’m simply voicing my perspective.

Maybe it would help tone down my comments if you read the words from my  short speech on the first day of the conference. Here it is and I hope you glean more hope from this public personal debriefing than despair.

After General Conference I reread Walter Brueggeman’s book Hopeful Imagination about the Jewish Exile, and just a month ago Gil Rendle spoke at our Annual Conference about the Wilderness.  Their common theme is that these events actually fostered times of great renewal and hope in the midst of lament and crisis for the Israelites.  I think that our tenuous situation today is similar, and much like what Wesley faced in the Church of England. How wonderful it would be if we could recognize the power of God in the midst of all the gloom and doom we’ve heard! Who wants to get on a sinking ship? God’s in the resurrection business!

Remember the scene in Mark 5 when Jesus attends the funeral of a little girl? Jesus dismissed the crowd of professional mourners who thought that He was nuts because He said the child was asleep, not dead. Then Jesus invited only the people who were desperate – her parents – and the people who were faithful – a couple of his disciples – to witness the miracle. Miracles occur in the presence of desperation and faith where God gets center stage.

So we can either wail without hope as United Methodists, or be desperate enough to trust only in God. Wailing doesn’t help. It distracts. It acknowledges neither God’s power nor the possibility of new life. Once the wailers were gone, Jesus did his work and the miracle was astonishing in its simplicity. Like a parent waking a child for breakfast, Jesus gently spoke the Aramaic equivalent of: “Wake up, little one – Talitha Koum.” Where the wailers proclaimed death, Jesus spoke life. Where they grieved loudly, He quietly took the little girl by the hand. Where they laughed with contempt, He celebrated with joy. They were ready for her funeral; Jesus told them to feed her breakfast!

In a sense, John Wesley did the same thing. He spiritually raised the dead when he took 18th century England by the hand.  God produced new life for thousands, and fed both souls and bodies.  The world is still longing to hear a word of hope, and the United Methodist Church can speak it like no other!  The Episcopal leadership we choose will shape that.

Following Christ’s example in Mark 5, I think a bishop must be present and available to others, and then be willing to go even deeper into people’s stories and situations.  Bishops must recognize opportunities for the work of the Holy Spirit even when many only see an occasion for wailing. I want to be a bishop that reaches out to our churches and our world with a word of hope, and echo the words of Christ: “Talitha Koum! It’s time to wake up!”

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20 thoughts on “Post-SEJ Emotions

  1. Thank you for your honesty Tim. I think our denomination would be in a much better place if we had more honest, accountable discipleship. I look forward to returning to SC next year to be in ministry with you, Bishop Holston, and the rest of the UMCSC.

  2. You have served the United Methodist Church well by raising concerns about the CTA proposal; and you have paid a high price for that. I appreciate your courage and prophetic witness. Thank you.

  3. Tim, my heart is sad. I know you were one of the top 5 candinates qualified to be a Bishop. Your endorsement of the other person and the way you always keep God first in your life is one of the many reason we are so glad you will be our DS. You and your family will continue to be in my prayers. We love you! Remember you are my encourger.
    Paul

  4. Tim! After having read your stirring editorial i’m ready to be saved all over again and to renew my baptismal vows! Thank you for your insight and transparency in a difficult matter for you! I assure you that your actions represented Christ well and no one in SC has anything to be ashamed of in your witness at jurisdictional conference. Our Heavenly Father has always and will continue to honor his children when they exemplify acts of denial for the benefit of many and this has been done. Thank you foe your witness!

  5. What wise words Tim. I continue to appreciate your service to the church, and hope that you will continue to be a prophetic voice. I’m sorry for the wider church that you were not elected Bishop. On the other hand, from a purely selfish perspective, we would really miss here in SC. With the uncertainty that everyone has when there’s a change in episcopal leadership, I am encouraged by your ringing endorsement of Bishop Holston. Know that there are lots of us who really love and respect you.

  6. As someone who has always tried to keep my distance from these General Church gatherings, your nomination sparked in me an interest to not only learn more about the process but to become more involved going forward. This post helped explain a lot to me, and I appreciate your honesty in sharing some details that help folks like me understand the inner machinations. I felt at a times in recent days that I was watching a sport where I didn’t know all the rules!

    You’re a good man, Tim. I thoroughly enjoyed getting to know you better at AC and look forward to sharing in ministry in the years to come. Peace to you!

  7. Tim, thank you for your incredibly humble stance at the Conference. I watched it through streaming, and I was so proud to know you, so proud to tell everybody that you taught me at Emory and that you are just as fine as your witness showed yesterday!! Since we truly believe that “all things work together for good,” then there is some good reason you went back to SC as a DS. You are needed there. You have my sincere admiration and appreciation. I am so blessed to call you my friend.

  8. A voice calling out in the wilderness is sometimes heard by longing ears- listening for the sounds of hope and renewal. By faith we can trust that it will come and listen eagerly for those who will lead us, not with religious mumbo jumbo and intrigue, but with true spiritual light. Part of this light is the gift of spiritually diagnosing the problem. I personally believe you are one of those voices folks are listening for. I’d rather hear the truth about our situation from a concerned prophet than from people trying to preserve an institutional mausoleum with whitewash. God IS in the resurrection business! Thanks for representing all of us so well, Tim.

  9. I wanted to leave a response because your words touched me so, but when I read Chris’s words (above me) , he said exactly what I feel, only better. except for reminding you that we love you and all yo family! True prophets were never popular. The church may need a prophet more than bishops.

  10. One more thought. From the point of view of the general church, your actions made the SEJ shine as an example of how a Christlike episcopal election works. No small accomplishment! God only knows that our church and our world are crying out for that kind of rare sacrificial leadership.

  11. Amen, and Amen! God Bless You Tim! God is not through with the United Methodist Church. He has placed people like you and is still bringing in others that are hungry and thirsty for Him more then the status quo. He desires to ‘Wake Up” His Church again and put His New Life in Her! MORE LORD! Do it now LORD! Wake Us All Up and Fill Us With Your Holy Spirit LORD! Change Us and Do Whatever You Need to do in and to Us. All for Your Kingdom and Your Glory! LIFE! LIFE! LIFE! Thank You Tim and Thank You Heavenly Father for what You are going to do In Us! Shalom In HIm, Joseph

  12. Tim, I was so very proud of you when you gave your speech Tuesday. That pride was far overshadowed by the feelings in my heart when you conceeded the election! A little disappointed, yes, because your gifts are so well suited to the Office of Bishop. But I was so proud of you, of your honesty, integrity, and beliefs. I am thrilled you will be returning to the SC Annual Conference. The Conference, and Bishop Holston need your guidance. The Native American Committee needs your representation, your creativity, and your help. You are truly a man of God, a man with unbelieveable faith, and a man who will help lead our conference where God wants us to be!

  13. Tim, thanks for sharing your Jurisdictional Conference journey with us. I am glad to have you as my District Superintendent and for the support that you are to the Hispanic/latino Ministry.
    I am looking forward to work with you and be inspired by your service and dedication to the church.
    We need you in South Carolina. May God blessings be with you.

  14. Tim, my prayers are with you and your family. Thank you for reminding us what servant leadership looks like and that we are called to serve a risen, living Savior in comfortable times and uncomfortable times. Rest in the hammock of Christ’s grace and peace.

  15. Tim, you amaze me with your integrity, your deep love of God and the church, and your willingness to put God ahead of even your desires. I weep with you as you sort out all of your feelings, hurts, and disappointments. You have a right to whatever you are feeling. I cried during your concession speach and still voted for you anyway on the final ballot. I look forward to getting to know you better.

  16. Thank you to you all. We will be fine. I love our church and will remain faithful on the journey. We/I still need your prayers as we navigate all this.

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